Five Tips to Cope with Loneliness this Holiday Season

The holidays are coming, any many people are preparing with lights, baking, gifts and gathering. For many, the holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year, but for others, it brings about darkness and loneliness. If you are experiencing loneliness this holiday season, Modern Thrive Counseling wants you to know that you are not alone. Here are some tips and tricks to manage loneliness this holiday season.

Learn to enjoy your own company!

The relationship we have with ourselves is the longest, most intimate relationship we will ever have, so you might as well lean in to learning more about yourself. What do you like to do? What makes you feel good? How do you want to spend your time? If you are able to express gratitude for the things in your life, do that! This can be a difficult practice, but when we focus on the good in our lives, it takes up the space where lonely feelings were taking over. While this doesn’t erase the lonely feeling, it will remind you that you are more than the temporary feelings.

2. Focus on reality

Society paints a picture that we should be drinking hot cocoa around the fire at the lodge after a full day of skiing with 47 of our closest friends. While this sounds like the start to a ROMCOM, this is not reality! Allow yourself to enjoy a night in with a Christmas movie, or something completely unrelated to the holidays. If you have a chance to connect with a friend or family member and it feels good to you, take in the good in that moment and also acknowledge that social media paints an unrealistic picture of this time of year.

3. Notice triggers and defenses

Are there certain songs, movies, place, or traditions that make you feel worse? You don’t need it from me, but I give you FULL permission to turn the channel, say no, and walk away from things that add to your distress. This time is difficult enough; you don’t need to put yourself in difficult situations if you can avoid them. Now, this isn’t to say we can just ignore and avoid triggers forever, but if you are feeling particularly vulnerable this holiday season, get on your own side and give yourself permission to take breaks and walk away as needed.

4. Engage in meaningful traditions

On the flip side, are there things you love to do this time of year? I personally love to drive around and look at Christmas lights. If there are things that you love to do, DO THEM! Light the tree! Sing the song! Go to that holiday market. You are allowed to enjoy this holiday season with your bad self! We encourage you to notice momentary joy, even if it doesn’t last. The more that we notice the positive feelings and things in our life, the more natural it will feel in your body. By experiencing positive feelings, it can offset the negative feelings, or at least make them feel more tolerable.

5. Remember to take care of yourself

Just because it is the holiday season, it does not mean you need to let go of your regular scheduled programming. If being in nature makes you feel safe, do that. If spending time with an animal makes you feel loved, cuddle that pup. Movement is always medicine, so engage in joyful movement whenever you can. **Joyful movement is movement that feels good for your body and does not focus on calories burned.** Keep up with your meal prep. Read that inspirational book. Do the things that help you feel safe and sound.

This time of year can be challenging, but we want to remind you that being alone does not have to mean you’re lonely. Find moments to enjoy for yourself, and say no when needed. We’ll mettle through somehow!

If you are experiencing significant distress, depression or anxiety this holiday season, we are here to help. Please reach out using the Contact Page.